Very Very scary creatures Leonard....
The
Scrote (Dickheadimus Chavius) can be seen at various waterside locations throughout the British Isles.They are predictable creatures of habit,and a sighting is guaranteed at the slightest hint of a shaft of sunlight and temperatures of 20+ degrees,but only between the hours of 13.00 and 20.00...when they skulk back to their lairs (licensed) in Leeds and Bradford,and only in the months of June,July and August with occasional activity on unusually hot days in May and September.
If you wish to view them,simply reccky the riverbank (or canal,or sewage treatment works) in the morning and look for their tell-tale droppings...empty Carling cans,disposable barbies that haven't been disposed of,boxes of Aldi burgers,placcy bags,soiled nappies,fag packets etc,then,shortly before 13.00,retire to a safe distance and watch. You will not need binoculars (they'll be right in yer face) and you'll be able to hear them coming about 2 miles before they get to you,as their 6,000,000 watt sound systems pump Sean Kingston and Eminem from their hot-hatches. The 'music' will feature throughout the day also.
They hunt in packs more often than not,and the arrival of 3 or more vehicles of (very

) closely related family groups at once is a common sight.The workload is cleverly shared,with each 'unit' providing a speciality service and essentials for a days revelry - barbecue,dinghy,football,beer,burgers,Cd's and naked kids,to name a few.
The males will sport those long shorts....or are they short longs

exposing an 'England' tattoo (or bulldog or something 'hard') above the ankle,trainers,sleeveless t-shirts and Burberry caps. The female will also sport Burberry,but often displaying a penchant for 'Bench' or Kate Moss's 'Top Shop Collection' on special occasions like bank holidays.Hip length skirts are the order of the day,and the views are always shocking and arresting,but sadly,seldom delightful.
Their naked offspring will usually be out of sight and out of mind,wrecking the fishing with their dinghies and dogs.....as the 'adults' get wrecked,argue, smack their *****es up and acquire a very painful but very very amusing dose of sunburn